Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant It's what's for dinnerMale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 128 Deviations 3,600 Comments 7,236 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Tales of Rancor - Jackamo's Wrath I
Part One – Heroes Unite!
After the death of the legendary hero Rancor, all of Terr'akoth mourned his passing. Every 4th day on the month of the Dragonstar, the entire realm would feast in his memory, and the Torch of the Salamander's Fire would be lit, burning for an entire month without pause, even against rain and sleet and snow. However, for the famous scribe Che-Vans, a different task would befall him. He was told by the Emperor to write down the history of Rancor; his birth, his life, his death, and of course, his many, many victories and stories.
What follows now is but one of those tales, told forever in the swirling ethereal mists of infinite time and space in the endless realm of history...
It was the third year of the era of Valdas, and a blight had fallen upon the Realm of Terr'akoth; hordes of demons were scouring the land, destroying anything in their path. The Emperor summoned
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 1 0
Fan-Fiction: A Love Story IV
Fan-Fiction: A Love Story IV – The Goblet of Fire
Despite Harry's best efforts, the battle was going badly. There were just too many of the evil forces to contend with. Crushing the head of Soundwave neath his mighty hammer, he struggled to think why the Forces of Light were losing. Was he not the chosen one? The summoning of the Firebolt Dragon, who was busily wrecking Hitler's shit up, proved it. So why were they on the verge of despair? Harry looked toward the tower housing the Council Chambers; perhaps they would be able to answer. Whistling loudly, the Firebolt Dragon swooped down towards him; leaping atop the beat, Harry flew towards the tower. Immediately he could see that something was wrong. There was a large hole in the top, and Harry could make out two figures that seemed to be holding the Council hostage. Kicking his shins into the dragon's sides, Harry sped towards the chamber. The last thing that both Skeletor and Magneto saw was a large, orange dragon hurtling towar
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 1 0
Mature content
The Legend of Fucko :icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 0 0
Fan-Fiction: A Love Story III
Fan-Fiction: A Love Story III - Revenge of the Sith
A bright flash of light blinded Harry momentarily as he emerged from the portal. As his sight started to return, the sounds of conflict deafened him. He could vaguely see the outlines of countless figures battling one another. Steeling his nerve, Harry charged headlong into the fray; he needed to get to the Rainbow Bridge of Friendship and activate his power. He was shortly met by Wario and Starscream, who blocked his path.
"WAH-HAH!" agreed Wario.
Harry screamed 'Flipendo!' and swung Mjolnir at both enemies, hurtling them away for miles. With them out of the way, Harry continued his advance towards the Bridge.
Dumbledore got up slowly and yelled at Snape.
Snape laughed derisively, and answered "Isn't it obv, I'm betraying you and all the Council to serve the mighty Lord Megatron!"
"But why?" asked Gandalf, "We hav
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 2 0
Fan-Fiction: A Love Story II
Fan-Fiction: A Love Story II – Cortex Strikes Back
The Rainbow Bridge of Friendship was awash with fighting, making it difficult for Frodo to weave in between all the combatants and get to safety. He had to protect it at all costs! An explosion rocked the bridge, causing him to trip; Optimus Prime had just been shot by Cobra Commander, and the weight of his enormous body toppling over had shook the entire structure. Frodo picked himself up and continued running. He had made it onto the Friendly side of the fighting, and was quickly taken aside by Wolverine.
"DO YA STILL HAVE IT BUB?!" He yelled over the fighting.
"YES! IT'S SAFE! I NEED TO GO TO THE COUNCIL!" Frodo screamed back.
As if by magic, Hagrid suddenly appeared in Sirius Black's bike.
" 'ELLO THERE LAD! 'OP IN!" He bawled at Frodo, who complied.
As they left Wolverine to lead another charge, Frodo clutched his coat pocket tightly.
"I just hope it's...not too
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 2 0
His office is located at the top of the skyscraper. It looks out onto the cityscape, and provides an excellent view of the street. He smiles. Even on a night such as this, there is something otherworldly about the glow of the city below him. It is raining. Droplets stream across the huge glass windows that surround the room. He cannot take his eyes off them. A low boom snaps him out of his reverie. He glances out of the window to find the source of the sound; it was probably a car accident of some sort. No need to worry. As he continues to scan the vista, he starts to remember how he got here in the first place. Running his hand through his hair, he casts his mind back.
Like all children, he had first longed for the improbable or the impossible; an astronaut, a superhero, a wizard, that sort of thing. Gradually, as he got older he found, as most people do in their late teens, that the world wasn't quite as wondrous as he remembered from his childhood. It was an unforgiving, cruel, cyni
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 1 11
Fan-Fiction: A Love Story
It was late in the evening at Hogwarts, and Harry was feeling drowsy from all his studies. He sighed; being the Chosen One may be helpful in a battle against Voldemort, but it didn't help in the slightest with his exams. There was a knock at the door. Harry opened it. Standing there, looking downtrodden, was Edward Cullen. He looked damp; it must be raining outside, thought Harry. They both stood there for a moment, before Harry spoke first.
"You look wet."
" was raining...outside..." Edward replied.
"Well, we have a fire to help warm yourself up."
"I think I'll need something a little hotter than a fire."
"Oh? And what might that be?"
There was a pause for a second, before they both grasped each other, kissing furiously. Then they had sex. And it was amazing.
The morning after, there was a beeping noise coming from the dresser. Harry reached out blindly from the bed and grabbed it. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at it. It was his Team Communicator. Getting up, he
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 0 3
The Whimsical Yarn of Rancor
The Whimsical Yarn of Rancor, the Holy Paladin
Five men lay dead around him, and not even a single bead of sweat dropped from his head. Only three assassins remained. Adopting a defensive posture, he battered aside the first warrior's blow with his Shield of Righteous Fortitude, before countering with a single swipe from Caldor's Fury, the most powerful sword in all of Terr'akoth. Watching their comrade fall before them, the two remaining assassins turned tale and fled. The large, armoured knight bellowed after them: "You DARE run from the mighty Rancor, Guardian of the Flame of Divine Light?! Take THIS!"
Thrusting his sword into the air, he cried "PIOUS STRIKE!" before a bolt of holy lightning stuck both assassins in the back...
"...for massive damage" yelled Derek at the two men, before looking at the referee, who rolled his twenty-sided die to account for agility; both assassins were indeed toast. He announced the results of the combat to the participants in a nasally voice: "Rancor
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 1 0
Lucy's Journey
As a Watcher, he is forbidden to intervene in the tragedy. He must simply observe the scene that unfolds around him. That is his curse, as well as his gift. The young girl is apparently called Lucy, and she will die in the next five minutes.
The girl was a sickly thing when she was born those ten years ago; doctors were astounded that she even made it to a month old. Suffering from a rare genetic disorder, the young girl would die very young, missing out on a whole lifetime of experiences and events, both joyous and sorrowful. Every day was, in a sense, a gift, and every birthday was a miraculous occasion. Her parents even started to hope that their little girl was cured.
But, as is so often the case, Fate was cruel and heartless.
And here, now, on her tiny deathbed, Lucy can feel her strength ebbing away. The curtains a drawn, hiding the last Autumnal rays of the sun from her. The time is two minutes past six. Her parents are next to her, as are her friends and her doctor, who checks
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 0 2
Damien The Update Wizard 2
Damien the Update Wizard and the Chamber of Secrets
Week Seven, Day Five into the Facebook War, and Damien was losing. Despite all his tricks, Seth was able to gain more support from his peers, who now grew in number day by day. Conversely, Damien's friends were starting to abandon him, or at least, chose to ignore his statuses. Growing desperate, Damien decided to employ his final tactic. He would post a song lyric. Now this was a risky gambit; if he chose the wrong lyric he could get comical responses, or people stating their love of the song. And if he chose an older song some people might not understand or have heard of it. So he had to choose one filled with raw emotion, but be a contemporary hit. Trawling through his music list, he struggled to find a suitable song. And every second he wasted, Seth was gaining power. At the dead of night though, Damien laughed heartily; He'd found it.
Seth awoke the next morning under his Star Wars bed-sheets grinning; today, he would destroy Dam
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 1 4
Damien The Update Wizard
The Woeful Tale of Damien, The Update Wizard
It was ten o'clock in the evening, and the internet was already bathed in a sea of self pity.
"feeling kind of down atm; as soon as i start being happy life takes it away from me :,("
The flood of replies were instantaneous.
"dnt wrry babe, Im here for u <3"
"cheer up hun itll all get better soon!"
"whats up man?need someone to talk too?
Damien reclined into his chair and took a look at his handiwork, smirking as everything went to plan.
It was a year ago that Damien discovered his talent. Having suffered a break-up with his girlfriend he retreated to Facebook and posted a heart-wrenching, emotionally charged status: "just broke up with Lucy. feeling sooo sad why do these things happen to meshe was my everything ;__;"
After his soul was posted for all to see Damien noticed how his reply count increased exponentially. Instead of just four or five messages a day he got twice that amount in just five minutes. Thus Damien devised his method f
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 1 6
Nicolai - The Prelude Part V
It took three hours to reach Calais, mainly because of Nicolai's search for clothes. He needed to cover his wounds and his tracks; a doctor's lab coat would not help with keeping him inconspicuous. Halfway to Calais, he pulled over to a small row of terraced houses near a town, and stole some clothes from the washing lines. Finding something suitable at long last, he drove away and continued his journey north. Eventually, after reaching the port, he ditched the truck near the dock entrance and continued on foot. Now that he had reached Calais, he needed to find a boat to Russia, a task that was easier said than done. However, luck seemed to have returned to him as he managed to acquire a shipping manifest from the harbour master's office, and saw that only one ship, the Zhemchug, would be heading to Murmansk within the next hour or so. There was nothing for it, Nicolai would have to find the ship, stow aboard and remain undetected for the week long voyage back home.
Finding the ship wa
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 1 35
Why you shouldn't write on dA
There are types of people on DeviantART who are never given enough credit. Who are consistently ignored in favour of everyone else. Who never seem to be on the front page. I am talking about the writers, authors and poets. The wordsmiths. Some might say that it is indeed possible to make it big on the site, and in a few cases this is true. However, for the majority of us, it is difficult to get noticed by the other users. There are various reasons for this, of which I will now go into detail.
1: Literature is not visual
You can counter this as much as you want with arguments on 'how it's the author's task to create the picture' and such, but the truth is people prefer looking at things compared to reading them. Considering the massive amount of options available to artists compared to writers on dA, you will already be at a disadvantage should you decide to become the latter. This is especially true on the front page of the site. Go and log on, and I guarantee you all the items feature
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 1 34
Mature content
Nicolai - The Prelude Part IV :icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 1 24
Nicolai - The Prelude Part III
Nicolai awoke to the myriad beeps of machines around him. He knew he was in a hospital, even before the stark white walls greeted his vision. Gradually, his sight returned to him, and he found himself in a single ward, with one window that was covered in a blue curtain. So he had a whole ward to himself? That could only mean one thing. And sure enough, as he slowly turned his head to the door, he saw a policeman standing outside it. Shit! He had hoped that the police wouldn't be called in, but he was being admitted with a gunshot to the chest; of course the police would want to get involved. The gunshot! Nicolai had completely forgotten about it. He lifted his sheets to find gauze covering a section of his chest. He guessed the doctors got the bullet out, or he wouldn't be here. And suddenly the whole situation hit him like a train. He had nearly died in a Parisian suburb only to be lying in a hospital with a police guard outside that would no doubt like to question him as to how he en
:icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 1 4
Mature content
Gaston Song - Nasty Version :icongeneral-horatio:General-Horatio 1 9

Random Favourites

Flame, Energy, and Lightsaber by Jasdog565 Flame, Energy, and Lightsaber :iconjasdog565:Jasdog565 6 7 .V. by danirolli .V. :icondanirolli:danirolli 1,647 294 Blow shit up by Weeniemann Blow shit up :iconweeniemann:Weeniemann 16 31 The Two Step Tango :Final: by rem-chan The Two Step Tango :Final: :iconrem-chan:rem-chan 162 61 Virus by plangkye Virus :iconplangkye:plangkye 164 125 I support V by Tapangowa86 I support V :icontapangowa86:Tapangowa86 1,126 104 Zodiac Stamp 'Virgo' by Sharkfold Zodiac Stamp 'Virgo' :iconsharkfold:Sharkfold 937 166 Monolith by Hideyoshi Monolith :iconhideyoshi:Hideyoshi 818 157 sword designs by Wen-M sword designs :iconwen-m:Wen-M 8,334 1,729 Hugo Weaving montage... by starvingartist1983 Hugo Weaving montage... :iconstarvingartist1983:starvingartist1983 34 53 Behemoth by Wen-M Behemoth :iconwen-m:Wen-M 2,994 874 The Great Orion Nebula by octane2 The Great Orion Nebula :iconoctane2:octane2 413 560 Antares in Scorpius - Mk II by octane2 Antares in Scorpius - Mk II :iconoctane2:octane2 721 1,021 Crux and Eta Carinae Nebula by octane2 Crux and Eta Carinae Nebula :iconoctane2:octane2 94 229 The Pointers and Crux by octane2 The Pointers and Crux :iconoctane2:octane2 131 516 Lolli pops by legendaryteam Lolli pops :iconlegendaryteam:legendaryteam 32 53



It&#039;s what&#039;s for dinner
United Kingdom
Current Residence: BASTARDcorp's Tower of Power
Favourite genre of music: Metal, Jazz, Rock.
Favourite style of art: 3D or rendered art.
Operating System: Windows Vista...
MP3 player of choice: Creative ZEN!
Shell of choice: An armoured combat shell...or a ghost in the shell
Wallpaper of choice: Preferably a humourous one.
Skin of choice: BIONIC IMPLANTS!!!!
Favourite cartoon character: HK-47 (I don't care if he's from a game he rocks!)
Personal Quote: Just that ONE time!
  • Listening to: Rush
  • Reading: Every god damn book I own for exams
  • Watching: Curb your Enthusiasm
  • Playing: Call of Duty: Black Ops
  • Eating: A fuckton of chicken
  • Drinking: Tea
It's been a while people, what with the sudden influx of social commentary mixed with gallows humour. I thought I'd let the world know I was still alive.

Anyways, I'm starting my fitness regime again; that is to say, I'm back to doing pushups, stretches, weight lifting and more stretches in my room, but fuck it, it works. It's certainly not going to get rid of all the fat, but that isn't the point. These are toning exercises, not cardio workouts.

I've also been learning a fascinating new self-defense art called Bojuka, which is all about muscle-memory, arm-locks, pressure points, that sort of thing. Of course I can't go to a dojo and learn it; I'd be surprised if there are any trainers in Britain, let alone Guildford, but youtube vids help at least with the demonstrations. It's something to do I suppose, and it helps clear my head, which is good, considering it's exam month not too soon.

But I must go now, my planet needs me...


Add a Comment:
Gsoka Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2010
waxwng Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2010   Traditional Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:! :D
General-Horatio Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2010
No problem! :D
St-Fisch Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2010
Captain-Adrastus Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2010
Thanks for the :+fav: Nicky poo.
I thought you'd like that one :D
General-Horatio Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2010
You know me WAY too much. :D
Captain-Adrastus Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2010
I went to the 3rd Exhibition at UCA Farnham today, the films that were shown were absolutely incredible! I couldnt believe that people not too older than us had created them, I was blown away!
General-Horatio Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2010
Sounds hot man.
(1 Reply)
XxDaimonxX Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2010
thank you a lot for the fav!!!
General-Horatio Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2010
No worries. Who can't love Kane and Lynch?!
Add a Comment: